


I will mend your heart

by MarieMaknae23



Category: GOT7
Genre: Abortion, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Best Friends, Depression, Discussion of Abortion, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Tags May Change, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, magic mike mixed with Burlesque, not actually stippers think more of Magic Mike, will tag as the story goes on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2018-12-09 16:43:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11673075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieMaknae23/pseuds/MarieMaknae23
Summary: There is nothing more harmful that having a unrequited love, especially when that person is your best friend, with whom you have been during the most difficults years of your life, overcoming all hardships and painful moments.There is nothing more painful when you see that special person slowly destroy himself between drugs, alcohol, and an abusive relationship.





	1. Only tonight

The shrill sound of his cellphone's alarm woke him up almost suddenly, Kunpimook Bhuwakul let out a frustrated sigh, almost felt that he had just gone to bed. He managed to emerge from the mountain of blankets and sheets that lay on top of him and stretched his arm to turn off the annoying alarm, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He laid back down, yawning soundly, all his body hurt and he was sure he could go back to sleep without much effort.

Someone knocked on the door of his room and he emitted a single growl to imply that he was still asleep.

"I really hope you're both dressed, you may be my best friend and all, but believe me, I have no interest in seeing your miseries." His best friend's voice filled the room and BamBam thought his nasal voice was as annoying as the alarm that drew him out of his sleep, so he just raised his right hand with his middle finger in the air “It's already three o'clock in the afternoon, you have to eat something and take a shower, aren’t you planning on working today?”

“Why are you annoying me so early in the morning” the skinny girl that was asleep next to him covered herself up to the head with the sheets “No, I’m not going to work tomorrow, I’m going to turn into a snail and sleep forever.” He added in a hoarse voice.

“Okay, just let me know when you can buy all the designer clothes you love so much, and you can buy those expensive presents Lisa Noona likes and all that while being a snail” Yugyeom sneered and BamBam snorted.

“Okay, Mom” Yugyeom laughed with his annoying nasal laughter, BamBam pulled his middle finger again in the air and when he heard the bedroom door close he turned around, cuddling in front of his girlfriend, who interlaced her fingers with his own.

“I waited for you last night, I have something important to tell you” the girl said, wrinkling her nose and BamBam gave her a slight tap on it.

"I'm sorry, baby." He left a soft kiss on her forehead. "My last presentation was the closing one and the boys wanted to go dinner after the show, I was starving and it was a good night, so we decided to go for a while, but they ended up getting to much alcohol and…well…it was a good night after all” Lisa sighed and shook her head, standing up and the young dancer followed with his gaze, looking at her with the same adoration as seven years ago, when they came together to Korea, with thousands of dreams, drams that were going to be destroyed one by one.

Born in Thailand, he had arrived to Korea with only 11 years old, and nothing but a little bit of money, a small suitcase, his mother’s blessing and the only photograph he had with his dad, taken when he was only about nine months old and before his dad passed away.

He had the same dream as many of the ones that moved to that country. He and Lisa had been the winners of a dance contest in their hometown, and as a prize, they had been chosen for a bigger audition in presence of various Korean entertainment companies, so, BamBam was chosen by JYP and Lisa by YG. The boy couldn’t been more secure about that he would debut, that he would become famous and he would achieve his biggest dream of being part of a famous south Korean boy band.

But, apparently, his fate was something else.

Year after year passed, tests, songs, more tests, learning the language, more tests, more eliminatory and never been chosen at all. Apparently, he was good at dancing and nothing more.

He tried to sound cheerful whenever his mother spoke to him, he always tried to have a positive attitude and he was basically known for his exuberant attitude. Even Lisa, who would become a girlfriend years later and the first in many aspects of his life, in front of her he had to pretend he didn’t mind the fact that she was progressing favorably, not at the rate she would like but at least she was on a team and was quite praised for her talent for rapping. But still BamBam was always there for her, supporting her and cheering her even though he was dying of jealousy on the inside.

And so six years later, on a cold January morning, the final test was conducted. BamBam had trained day and night for more than a month, he had perfected his dance steps until his feet bled; He kept repeating the rap that he had written specially for that day until he even dreamt with it or sleep talked it.

By the time the presentation was over, there were tears in his eyes, sweat trickling all over his body and a general tremor in his limbs, yet the cruelty with which the CEO of the company saw him was heartbreaking.

“BamBam, you came here at a very young age and we really had high expectations of what you could do or become” the CEO took a long sigh “but only stayed as that, as expectations, you are a very happy and dear member for this company but unfortunately you we have to let go.”

At that moment BamBam could only bow, thank in a low voice and walk in automatic mode until he was out of the building, he would worry about picking up his belongings from his dorm as at that time he couldn’t think straight clearly about what he was going to do.

Once outside he could barely feel the cold air inside his thin clothes, he simply embraced his body and looked at the building where he had spent so many moments and he just started crying bitterly, his feet walking aimlessly through the city.

He knew he couldn’t go back to Thailand by his own means, the plane ticket was too expensive, he would have to talk to his mother and he knew how much she would be disappointed if he returned home without having achieved his dream after he had promised it to her.

The first thing his mind thought was in buying some alcohol, he was only 17 and he had a baby face, but there had to be some place in Seoul that could sell him something. He had never tasted alcohol and he wasn’t so eager to do it, but he had heard that alcohol was the best thing to forget about bad days, and that was the only thing he needed, forget about his misery for a while, until he actually knew what to do next.

He tried in several places, without success, it almost seemed like people would made fun of his swollen eyes and puny complexion.

Defeated, he  sat on a sidewalk in an unknown street, where the night life began to flourish around him, he could hear the modern music sounding in the bar next to him, in the bar on the opposite way of the street was a young boy sweeping the sidewalk with a boring look, and on his left there was a small Tteokbokki place that was selling the first sales of the night, causing a delicious scent to circulate in the air, which caused BamBam’s stomach to grumble, so many hours wandering around had opened his appetite, but, as he left without anything else that what he was wearing, he didn’t had his wallet with him, so, more defeated than before and thinking the only think that was needed was a stray dog peeing on him at that moment, so he just stood up and cleaned his clothes, looking hopefully at the shop.

“Hey you, kid!" A voice screamed and it took several minutes to realize that it was the boy on the other side of the street who was calling him. "Are you feeling good?” he asked, still screaming and people started to give them reproachful looks, so he crossed the street “You look so…miserable, are you sure you’re feeling okay?” BamBam just blinked in response, still stunned by the sudden interaction “Huh…my name is Kim Yugyeom…ah…do you speak Korean at least?” the other boy frowned a bit, worried at the lack of response.

“Yes.” BamBam answered, surprised at how tearful his voice sounded. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I…”

“You had an evaluation? Was it so bad? I mean, you’re a trainee, right?” he asked, the unknown boy was much taller than BamBam, so he had to look a little bit up, to his embarrassment, somewhat confused “Those clothes are clearly from a performance, you have so much sequins you could illuminate a whole disco, you’re so thin, you look hungry as fuck, it’s obvious you’ve been crying and the JYP Ent. It’s only a few blocks away, it’s common to see lost trainees around the area.” Yugyeom explained.

"Oh…well…” he ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat “Yes, I'm...I mean...I was a trainee." He shook his head as his voice broke half-sentence and looked at the floor. "And if you ask, yes, I had an evaluation and I was kicked out of the company after I spent half of my life there. I have no idea what I'm going to do, I'm not from here, I don’t have enough money to go back to Thailand, I don’t want to talk to my mom because she's worried enough and it would be too much to add her this pressure, besides, we don’t have much money either” he didn’t realized the desperation in his voice and the tears that began to sprout nonstop from the corner of his eyes “I’ve been almost six years in here and I couldn’t do anything! Why they didn’t told me since the beginning they weren’t going to accept me? They didn’t care about the fact that I had to leave my family and that I came here alone, that I managed on my own without knowing shit about the language or the culture! I was a fool for believing that they would care about my sleepless nights, that I only ate once a day, that my muscles and joints hurt every time I ended up practice! But no…they just…they just cared enough to tell me that I had to eat more to stop being so skinny and sent me to speech therapy because of my lisp…because an idol couldn’t have an annoying lisp…they just…” he didn’t realized he had begun to scream and he felt an oppression in his chest that made it impossible to continue “I…I just…” he couldn’t breathe.

Yugyeom had enough knowledge to know that the boy was having, or about to have, an anxiety attack, judging by the trembling in his hands and his shallow, choppy breathing. BamBam looked frantically around him, surprised and alarmed by this new feeling of confinement and when his surroundings began to blur, he knew that was the equivalent of a stray dog peeing him: fainting on the street in front of a total unknown.

When he began to recover his senses he could hear muffled music and his body seemed to be in a leather sofa or something padded, someone had taken off his shoes and his jacket full of sequins.

“...long time, it would be better to call someone” a low voice reached his ears “we need to open up and if any audit comes…”

“Hyung, I am also 17 years old.” a nasal voice was added to the first.

“But you don’t look like you’re thirteen, Yugyeom” a third voice was heard.

“Hyung, please, he also has no one, is foreign, they just kicked him out of JYP, I’m pretty sure he has no money and no one we can talk to...”

"Yugyeom, Yugyeom...we can’t do anything for him." The first voice was heard again.

"What's the difference between him and me? That I was never in a company? That he has parents?”

“Yugyeom, we have known you since the age of nine, we have taken care of you, that is why we have you here and we have given you lodging after what happened, he is practically a stranger who...”

“A stranger who doesn’t have anyone in the world, or rather, in this country." Yugyeom interrupted him and BamBam took that as a sign to open his eyes and begin to move.

It was in a kind of lightly lit office, there were three people in the room, one of them was the boy from the street, the others seemed a little older than him and the other boy; One was dressed in a pair of dress pants and a black button down shirt, tightly knit, the other man was a little taller and wore more casual clothes, a type of black jogger and a tank top that fit as a second skin to his muscles, on his ears there were at least five or six piercings and a snapback covered his platinum hair.

"Oh...you're already awake," Yugyeom said, realizing that the Thai boy had woken up and sat down carefully on the edge of the sofa "Don’t worry, I brought you to the...bar... where I work, show bar rather, the JJP, they are the owners, Jinyoung Hyung." He pointed to the boy in formal attire “and Jaebum, or JB, Hyung." He pointed to the guy with the piercings.

"Hi, I'm BamBam," he introduced himself, standing up with weak legs. "I have to go, I'm very sorry for the inconvenience." The smaller added, making them understand that he had heard the conversation.

"Wait, no," Yugyeom said quickly. "At least you have to eat something, you just fainted, it's night and it's about to start snowing."

"But I..."

"You don’t have a place to go, do you? Do you know anyone in Seoul?” Jinyoung suddenly asked, surprising them all.

“No, I mean, yes…my girlfriend, Lisa, but she stays in the dormitories of the YG and they don’t allow men or her to go out after dark” BamBam answered, playing with his hands. "I suppose I can go back to the dorms, they must give me some kind of grace period meanwhile I find a place to stay.”

"Yugyeom is right, it's already night and it's going to snow, you'd better spend the night here and tomorrow you can decide or arrange whatever you decide.” Jinyoung said, there was a hint of something like a smile on his lips.

"You can even work here tonight, cleaning the tables, right?" Yugyeom suddenly suggested, his face bright “One of the bussers resigned yesterday and that little pay can help him.”

“Yugyeom...” Jaebum began to say, massaging the bridge of the nose “He is a minor, he can’t be working at a bar, much less looking like he’s twelve.”

“All right, only tonight, I'll pay you the regular salary of the employees” Jinyoung agreed “it's not much, but it can help you, and you" He turned to Yugyeom, giving him a small slap in the abdomen “you're going to clean all the toilets of the establishment for two weeks." He turned to Jaebum with an accusing gesture. "You need to go on stage, you start with the opening number." BamBam couldn’t help but think that he looked a lot like when his mom scolded her four children in a go.

Yugyeom resisted starting jumping and clapping like a seal from the excitement, so he only bowed deeply to the elders, BamBam imitated him, muttering millions of thanks and feeling that the knot that had formed in his chest, since the CEO said those fateful words, relaxed a little.

The boy of his age took him by the arm and led him out of the office and BamBam could finally see the establishment in which they were. It was a spacious place, but small at the same time, it was lit up like any night bar; there was a stage in the background, covered by a red curtain and several round tables were scattered around the place, some tables were already occupied by women gossiping without ceasing; A stream of waiters came and went by the place, through the doors to the kitchen or near the bar to order the drinks that the clientele requested, all wearing nothing but tight white dress pants and a gold vest.

"Wait, Yugyeom. What kind of bar did you say it was?"

"Um...a show bar...a show...for women," the taller boy said, scratching behind his ear with some regret, "but there's no nudity or anything like that! Look, if you want before we go to change we see the opening show, Jaebum Hyung always does it, on rare occasions Jinyoung Hyung accompanies him, but they are only very special occasions, he focuses more on the administrative stuff” meanwhile the boy was talking the stage lights dimmed and the music started ringing.

BamBam stood undaunted in his place, admiring almost with his mouth open. The music was a slow, sensual rhythm, the type he felt he shouldn’t be listening because of his age; a reflector illuminated the center of the stage where Jaebum stood still, looking sensually at the audience who began to scream wildly, he had a look sexual look in his eyes and, again, BamBam felt that it wasn’t appropriate for his age (of course it wasn’t even the place he was standing wasn’t appropriate at all), but when Jaebum began to dance, moving his body slowly to the rhythm of music, making slow body rolls and adding some hip thrusts that made the women in the establishment go crazy and, as it was coming from some kind of movie, bill after bill began to fly towards the stage. BamBam still could not regain mobility due to the sensuality and perfection of his dance until Yugyeom cleared his throat a little, causing him to turn away from the stage.

"The songs are composed, produced and sung by him," and, indeed, a male voice was heard in the background, with the same sensuality with which the boy moved on the stage, a loud scream was heard from all the woman in the place when he slid on his knees towards the front of the stage, his hand gripping his tank top to rip it apart, revealing his perfect abdomen “and that’s much all the nudity you get to see here, we focus more on the teasing with all the dances and stuff.”

"Yugyeom!" Someone screamed and both young men jumped, Yugyeom took him by the hand again and guided him through a door behind the bar.

Behind the door was a metal staircase and both of them went up through it until they came to something like a sort of employee lockers with dressing rooms, since on the side by which they came up there was a pile of lockers in a row and on the other side a series of dressing tables, there was a continuous bustle of about seven boys who were changing and getting ready to go on stage.

"Don’t worry, bussers don’t have to put on those ridiculous pants and vests." Yugyeom's voice made him again look away reluctantly from a boy who was carefully outlining his eyes, behind him was another one stretching on the floor, with his legs  spread in a perfect split “this is going to be huge on you, but it will be fine with the pants you’re wearing and well...it's just for today” he gave him a red polo shirt “apart from your daily salary the waiters give us a percentage of their tips, we end up with good money by the end of the shift, so it will help you a lot.” He explained.

“And the dancers?” he asked, glancing again at the boy who had just finished lining his eyes and now he was fixing a snapback on his hair, he was already wearing some kind of mask that made him look fierce.

“Them? They stay with all the money they throw on the stage or the customers gave them personally, sometimes they can give other kind of services…but this is not that kind of a bar” Yugyeom sighed, also seeing the boy “he is J-Hope Hyung, apart from Jaebum Hyung, he takes the most money every night, he is…the elite." He sighed again “he’s giving me some lessons and someday I’ll be up in there with them, too." The sound of his voice was so dreamy BamBam could tell he was serious about it.

“Yes, but first you need the bosses to approve you and to come of age.” Jinyoung came from behind and gave him a slight bump on his head. “I know you have a lot of talent, Yugyeom, but for now I need you to clean the tables and pick up the dirty glasses, and please, don’t forget about cleaning the bathrooms.” he said, he turned towards BamBam who apologized for the delay with a bow. “I left some dinner for you at that table.” He pointed behind him where a bowl of instant ramen rested, steaming. “Eat well and then get to work, after the shift is done you can share with Yugyeom as we don’t have available rooms, but remember, it's only for today.” he gave him a tap on his shoulder.

But because of his charisma, dedication to work, enthusiasm to overcome his hardships and thousands of good things that both owners saw in him, it wasn’t just for that night.


	2. A Secret Not So Secret

2016

His body felt tense and stiff, it never mattered how long he stretched his muscles, they would always complain the next day about all the extensive physical activity their dance routines required.

“Coffee?” Yugyeom asked him, passing a steaming cup of said liquid, BamBam grunted in a way of saying ‘thank you’ and drank it immediately, obviously burning his tongue and throat. “I told you not to drink so much.”

"And yet you kept pouring shots and offering me stuff” BamBam refuted him, taking another gulp that made him got blisters into his esophagus.

"You kept accepting them, there’s no ‘you got me drunk’, you got drunk because you wanted to” Yugyeom excused himself, hiding an evil giggle that had formed on his lips. “Ramen for lunch?”

"We need to learn how to cook something else, I'm starting to get fat." He handed him three packages of ramen from the top of the cupboard and listened how Yugyeom snorted "I weigh 60 kilos now!”

“Oh my God!” Yugyeom exclaimed, covering his mouth with his hands, pretending to be severely alarmed. "If you put a little more weight you’re going to start rolling around!" And then he burst out laughing.

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny." He tossed one of the packages of ramen seasoning into his face, but he was also laughing.

Yugyeom might be a dick sometimes, but he had become his best friend and confidant in those two years after he saved him from the streets, "the fateful 16" as BamBam liked to call that day when he had felt no future for several hours.

They had told each other their entire lives between nights of work and long trips home. Yugyeom had told him how his parents had died several years ago, and since his only relative was his grandfather, who lived in the province, and he was too old to be able to take care of him, Jaebum and Jinyoung had decided to take care of him until he had come of age, and so he had ended up as busser in their bar, helped by his enormous complexion that helped him not seem a minor.

 Yugyeom confessed, all while scrubbing the floor of the establishment, if it wasn’t for them and their help, he probably would have surrendered and finished his life several years ago, but now he had a dream to fulfill and his love for the dance made him stay alive, that and the new friend he had found in BamBam; this one, hearing his words, threw his broom aside and hugged him, both beginning to cry as if they were small children and not 17 years old teenagers.

That moment was decisive in their friendship, that moment was where they went from just being "friends" to being "best friends”, or even soulmates.

It was rare to see them separated, wherever one went, there was surely the other. BamBam quickly became friends with J-Hope, the dancer who had caught his attention the first day he was there, and the elder willingly agreed to also teach BamBam, so the two friends spent their days training and practicing. They practiced before going to work, practiced in their breaks and even sometimes Jinyoung had to send them to sleep because they continued to dance repeatedly in the living room late at night.

Thus, after many hours of rehearsal, BamBam and Yugyeom were finally able to get on stage as soon as they became adults, even a hat moment they had to do it together; the public loved them, they loved that feeling of euphoria (not to mention the money they received that night) and after a few months of constant performances, quite successful, both were able to get their own apartment apart from Jinyoung and Jaebum.

 It was modest, simple and small, but had the basics, two rooms, a bathroom and the kitchen, both felt powerful and unreachable, having quite a hit in the bar, finally living alone, Lisa could stay for several nights there and Yugyeom totally agreed with it and, above all, both could say that they were completely happy.

X

X

X

"Lisa, it's getting cold!" BamBam called her in their mother language, he had heard her go to the bathroom several minutes earlier and still didn’t heard her leave “Babe, are you okay?” he walked carefully to the door of the bathroom, now worried, it wouldn’t be the first time she fainted from exhaustion, and that was even more probable now that the date of her debut was near. "Lisa?" he listened her coughing and gagging and he knocked on the door insistently. “Babe, open the door.”

“What's up?” Yugyeom asked him, approaching down the hall when he heard the concern in BamBam's tone.

"She's throwing up, I don’t know if it's because she got sick...or just because she wanted to, like last time” BamBam said, still insistently knocking on the door. "Lisa, at least tell me you're okay!” He said again in Thai, on the other side of the door the sounds had ceased, there was a sound from the chain of the toilet and the bolt of the door unlocking.

The girl emerged from the bathroom, her face, full of tears, lowered, she gave him a simple look filled with sadness to BamBam and went quickly to the his roof, BamBam gave Yugyeom a desperate look and went after her, closing the door behind her and sitting carefully on the bed, where the girl had thrown herself into a fetal position, hugging her body and sobbing lightly.

"Lisa?" he called her, stroking her hair with concern, the girl reacted immediately to his touch, swatting his hand away. “Do you want me to take you to the doctor?” he tried patting her back this time.

“Don’t touch me!” Lisa yelled at him, sitting up suddenly and looking at him angrily. "Was not exactly what I told you that time you begged me to make love to me, even though you didn’t have condoms?"

“What…?”

"I told you repeatedly that it was dangerous, that you mustn’t trust the “pull out” method, it’s not safe” Lisa kept yelling at him “now in two fucking weeks we start taking the photos for the jacket album and the promos for my debut! Do you know what this means right now? We have to delay it! Because of me everything will be delayed at least three weeks until I feel better! After so many years for all of us and now because of you it will be more delayed!”

“What do you mean? Why because of me? What happened?” BamBam asked her, staring at her, the girl had stood up from the bed and searched for something in her purse.

“I mean that in the fucking monthly health checkup, something else than my normal anemia came up!” the girl was yelling at the top of her lungs and BamBam was grateful Yugyeom couldn’t understand Thai “This is what I mean!” she put the paper in his face, it was some lab tests that BamBam couldn’t understand, and less as they were in Korean “Kunpimook, it says I’m pregnant.” BamBam had took the sheet in his hand and it slipped from them, the girl then showed him a picture of a ultrasound “I’m barely 6 weeks, I just thought that I didn’t got my period because of the anemia and all the stress I’ve been under…but…” BamBam took between his fingers the dark and blurry picture, he couldn’t understand a lot, and all he could identify was some kind of small ball, which was his baby, their baby.

BamBam also got to his feet, he suddenly felt short of breath, so he walked towards the window, opening it and looking through it, but he wasn’t really watching. In his mind millions of thoughts passed quickly; he had never imagined that he would receive this news at age 18, he was no fool, he knew that something could happen if they had unprotected sex, even if he “pulled out” the risk was high, but still, news like that always caught a man by surprise. 

"Don’t overthink too much” Lisa’s voice sounded like she was far away. “The company knew even before the doctor told me. Apparently the lab told the company things like this as soon as the results came out, guess I’m not the first trainee or idol that gets pregnant.”

"Did they kicked you out?” he asked, with a small voice, he kept staring at the picture between his hands and he felt the hot tears run down his cheeks, he had been responsible of creating that human being, that was a product of their unchanging love. It didn’t really mattered that he was 18 and didn’t had a stable job, he was already loving that small bean that was going to grow up into a human being.

“They gave me options I needed to choose” Lisa answered, now she looked nervous, her voice was insecure “We are on time, BamBam, I am not going to waste all those years training for something like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“They put me to choose between keeping this thing, which would mean that my contract would end immediately, it is written in the clauses of immediate end.” The girl fidgeted with her hands “and I choose the other option…” the boy frowned, without understanding “the only way for me to remain under the YG is…is…to get an abortion” BamBam opened his eyes in surprise “That’s what I choose, there’s no turning back, Bammie, that’s what’s best for…”

"No," he said firmly, "No, of course not, absolutely not! I refuse! You’re not going under that procedure!” now it was him who had raised his voice “Better for whom? For you? How are you going to choose to murder someone over your career? It that more important for you?”

"My dreams are important!" "The girl replied “Don’t think that having this thing will be a piece of cake, things aren’t easy, you know that perfectly, you saw how your mother struggled with all your brothers and you after your father died.” She snorted “My God, Kun, how do you want to raise a baby between you and me? You’re not mature at all, and the most important thing, you’re a fucking stripper! Do you really want to have a child with that ‘profession’?” her words felt like slaps on the younger boy "maybe you have surrendered your dreams, but I am not going to give up on them, I won’t give up on all my years of working my ass of to be where I am, not for something like this, it’s my body, it’s my decision.”

"It's not your body anymore!” BamBam stomped the floor, running a hand through his hair “Also, I am the father of that child, I have some rights about it, and I say you won’t kill that baby, he or she already has his or her own life, it’s another human being with rights, you talk about dreams? What about the dreams of that baby? You’re killing all his or her chances to…” Lisa slapped him hard across the face. 

“Bullshit! I already took my decision and have the appointment for tomorrow morning! It’s only a cell, BamBam, for goodness sake!” she screamed at top of her lungs, crying furiously, after slapping him she took her bag and began to take the few possessions she had on his room “It’s my decision, it’s my life. I’m not going to be a loser like you, stuck in a club, dancing for thirsty older women who have to see naked men in order to feel happy, or loved” she was staring back at him, with his big eyes filled with tears of fear and anger “I’m sorry, BamBam, I really am, but no, I am not giving up on everything I fought so hard to achieve for something like this.”

“If you do that, if you really do that you have to forget about me, Lisa, I love you, but I can’t love and be with someone that wants to murder their child…my child…” BamBam sobbed.

“Well, I was going to end this relationship anyways. So, it’s over” Lisa replied with such coldness that froze his entire body “You didn’t honestly think I was going to still be with you after debuting" Lisa said, mockingly “An YG idol with a low-class stripper? No thank you, you won’t ever ruin my career, Kunpimook. Goodbye.

The words left him frozen in his place, he couldn’t react to her leaving the bedroom and slamming the door behind her, he couldn’t move when he heard Yugyeom trying to ask for an explanation and also having the front door slam shut in his face, he couldn’t react to the love of his life leaving his life forever, leaving the dreams the two of them had built together. It was simply over, just like that, like if they hadn’t spent so many years together, like he was some kind of disposable thing, it was just over.  

X

X

X

“I know it’s impossible for you, but make an effort, you know very well that this party is important for the club, Jaebum hyung and Jinyoung hyung have been planning this since long time ago, this investors are a big chance for the club” Yugyeom begged BamBam, who was huddled in his bed “besides, it will do you good to distract yourself and don’t think about…”

"Yugyeom" BamBam emerged from the sheets, his face flushed, pale, his hair dirty and oily “how do you want me to go out and get distracted if the one that I thought was the love of my love left me, and, the most horrible of all of this, is that she committed a murder?”

“Bam, you can’t really say that she was the love of your life, Lisa was your only girlfriend” Yugyeom took one of his hands and tried to pull him out of bed “I am your best friend and I won’t let you lock yourself here, crying and moping. You’ve done enough of that.”

The last two weeks had been hell for Yugyeom, and the same for BamBam, but in matters of concern, hell had been for the taller.

He knew that Lisa had hurt him so badly, and his friend showed it in the best way: crying and crying all over the house. The day the girl left his life forever, the Thai had locked himself in his room and had not left at all; Yugyeom was about to knock the door down several times, but always a faint sob or him wiping his nose told him that his fiend was still alive. On the second day BamBam only emerged from the room to go to the bathroom (and Yugyeom made that he hadn’t take any puncture object so he could do something stupid). By the fourth day Yugyeom was standing head over heels because he didn’t knew what to do; BamBam just came out of the room to go the bathroom, peck some of the food Yugyeom had made or bought and tell him that he still didn’t feel up to return to the club.

Jinyoung and Jaebum had been quite benevolent and understandable in this regard, however, as they planned to move the club to a larger place and in a richer area, they had been looking for investors for a long time to achieve their task, they found two men who were willing to help them, and to celebrate and meet the members of the club, they had decided to have a super party in a club they rented for the night, so, obviously, the bosses were a little sensitive and wanted their best dancers to be there that night and they had asked Yugyeom to make sure that BamBam were fine for that night.  

"Come on, Bammie, it's time for you to stand up” he pulled him more insistently “besides, I wasn’t to dye my hair and you know I won’t know how to choose a color and I’m going to end up with a mushroom cut again if you don’t accept on going with me “the Thai boy looked at him with a small interest “besides, your roots are showing.”

“Wait…what?!” BamBam stood up quickly, going to the mirror in his room, and, what Yugyeom thought was a good plan backfired him when the boy started crying bitterly, well, it must have helped in some way as, after long minutes of hearing him how he had neglected his appearance (roots, eyebrow, beard –none-, the smell, the pajamas) he finally acceded that he might feel better if he changed something in him and returned to groom himself like before.

So, after long hours in the stylist, where they removed all the bad stuff and polished every part of their bodies, stylized their hair and makeup at will, BamBam dragged him to go shopping for something "at the height of the place." When BamBam considered them both decent enough to go, they headed for the place and Yugyeom felt quite satisfied with his effort and that, in short, his best friend had talent for that sort of thing.

For Yugyeom he had chosen his favorites: a false black leather pants, they were so tight they stick to his strong thighs, a rather loose white silk shirt that slipped from time to time over his shoulder, making that, thanks to the buttons he had left unbuttoned, his clavicle would show from time to time. His new hair had turned into a reddish brown color and was so soft and fluffy it looked some kind of red cloud.

BamBam had chosen a more casual look, but being casual didn’t meant that it was great. He wore ripped black denim jeans, a plain white shirt and a jacket with floral designs made with some kind of shimmery material. His hair was now a shade of pale pink and their eyes had abandoned their natural dark brown color and were now icy gray, thanks to some contact lenses, he had lined his eyes with black eyeliner, making the gray stood out even more, his lips had the smallest tint of pink and Yugyeom had to use all his power to not look too affected by the excellent appearance of his friend, and not only he knew he looked great, he could feel all the looks man and women gave him on the street, and, it helped him somewhat in feeling better.

“BamBam! Yugyeom! Thank God you came!” Jinyoung greeted them at the entrance of the club, his face was tense and he had a worried mom tone in his voice “Bammie, how are you feeling?” yes, definitely he was a worried mom.

"I'll be fine, I can fake a few smiles today" the younger replied, shrugging. "Besides, they say that alcohol helps to forget, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it helps, but please, don’t drink too much, please, remember your birthday” Jinyoung said in a harsh tone.

"I had to throw away my favorite tennis shoes, I couldn’t get the smell of vomit out” Yugyeom muttered under his breath and BamBam slapped his arm.

"Wait, before you go and get drunk let’s introduce you to the investors…Jaebum is supposed to be…” Jinyoung retained them as they began to find a table or a place at the bar, he looked at the crowd that filled the dance floor and several tables, and it was a turmoil of his workmates, his companions and unknown people. “Ah, there he is, come!” and as if they were small children he took their hands and directed them to where Jaebum was, smiling uncomfortably and doing his best to keep the said investors busy, but talking to strangers had never been Jaebum’s forte.

Jinyoung beckoned to Jaebum and the older man began to tell something to the men that, now that Yugyeom could observe them well, seemed to be about the same age of the owners, but between them they were totally opposite.

One was tall, thin, almost scrawny, with hazel hair, his skin so white and perfect that it could not be natural; it seemed that he had lipstick on his plump lips because of the color between pink and reddish they adopted, then he realized that perhaps that color had something to do with the fact that every so often he licked her lips or bit them gently, with his hands inside his pockets and looking nervously around him, it seemed Jaebum was not the only one having trouble talking to strangers.

The other was shorter, barely a bit shorter than BamBam, with platinum blonde hair, almost white, his black shirt clinging to well-developed muscles and giving the appearance of being very masculine and strong. As they approached, they heard his low, raspy, rather masculine voice and looked around her with an arrogant and even almost boring look.

“As I told you before they are the newest and youngest addition, I think you saw them perform the day you went to the club and in some videos we sent you. Yes, they are just 18 years old, but they are very talented. This is Yugyeom, and BamBam; guys, let me introduce you to Mark Tuan and Jackson Wang” he signaled the taller and the burly, respectively, and with their names was made clear they were foreigners.

Mark made a grimace that almost looked disinterested, he heard Jinyoung said something else but Yugyeom didn’t pay much attention, he had been totally taken aback by the Jackson Wang looked at BamBam, it was kind of frightening.

Yes, he knew that his best friend looked spectacular, even to him it seemed a little difficult not to stare at him, but part of his education told him that he shouldn’t stare at people, even if they looked freakingly hot, you just didn’t look at people like they were a piece of meat or something to eat, it didn’t mattered how revealing and provocative they looked. They were well accustomed to that kind of glance, filled with desire and lust, but there was something specific in the way Jackson looked at BamBam that gave Yugyeom a bad vibe.

The brief encounter between investors ended, for Yugyeom happiness, after a few minutes, and both businessmen went to sit at their VIP table, where, as expected, hovered around people (men and women alike) who hoped to be able to call the attention of those men, who, apparently, were exaggeratedly rich.

"Do you want to dance?" Yugyeom asked his friend, when they were alone, he pointed to the dance floor were a few of their workmates were showing off in front of the other guests and, he knew perfectly that BamBam wouldn’t waste such an opportunity to also show off.

"Let's go first to the bar for a while," BamBam suggested, "I want to check if it's true what they say, besides...it's free, what’s better than free alcohol?"

 The boy walked resolutely towards the bar, ordering two shots of the strongest liquor they had in existence, which turned out to be vodka and offered the other to Yugyeom, both raised their glasses a bit to make a quiet toast and drank it quickly to minimize the bitter taste in their tongues and the burning in their throat.

After that shot they both took, feeling as if their esophagus melted, BamBam asked for another, and another, and another until losing count, he began to slur his words and then Yugyeom began to try to convince him to go to the dance floor, or to make him drink something else than alcohol, but BamBam only answered with a slurred “after this” a pat on his shoulder, an offer to drink another, which Yugyeom began to refuse after he started to get dizzy, an a sheepish smile.

After ten shots of vodka, five of tequila, a whiskey on the rocks, a sex on the beach, a pina colada and a glass of water (which Yugyeom almost force-feed him) BamBam finally stood up and zigzagged his way towards the dance floor, his normal hyperactivity increased at least an 80%, so he was screaming, laughing and dancing at all his might.

Despite the drunken state he was in, his movements were almost perfect, full of hip thrusts, waves and his tongue ran through his lips way too much times; sometimes he would grind against Yugyeom, or he took him by the neck in a sensual way, but just when his lips were dangerously close with the other’s lips, or his ass grind in a sexual way against Yugyeom’s crotch, or his hands ran too low over that area, Yugyeom would always tense up and BamBam would only separate himself, laughing with his shrill laugh, mocking Yugyeom’s tension. 

“I'm thirsty!” he yelled after one of those approaches that made Yugyeom start to sweat cold, about to lose all control of his body and his actions “will you bring me a beer? Please?” he asked, pouting and Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

"What I'm going to bring you is a glass of water or a soda," he said, giving him a slight blow on the forehead, but BamBam only responded by clinging to his neck and brushing with his lips the younger’s collarbone. Immediately Yugyeom felt his face filling with a red color so he separated him quickly with a rude push and went to the bar, repressing himself mentally for his lack of self-control.

Sighing, he called the bartender, ordering the beer and a shot of tequila for him, maybe all he needed was to get drunk enough, or drunker, to ignore all the grinding and sexual advances with his best friend o to be a little braver to actually do something about it.

“Hey, Yugyeom-ah!” Someone patted him on the back and he turned to see Youngjae, a boy barely a year older than him, who worked in the bar next to their club as a singer and waiter, and had made good friends with everyone, sometimes Jaebum and they worked on songs together and they would pull a performance together, or just the younger would perform it at his own workplace, the boy had a powerful voice and the power to write songs that made them tear just by listening to them “nice party.”

“A little bit” Yugyeom offered him the shot the bartender had just served him and the older accepted it, drinking it with a grimace “What are you doing here, Hyung?”

"Oh, Jaebum hyung invited me" the boy replied smilingly, a little color filling his cheeks. “He seemed busy with this investors and just told me to wait, and then I saw you and thought of coming and say hello.”

"And when are you guys going to make it official?” Yugyeom said, poking his ribs in playful way.

It was an open secret what the dancer and the young singer felt for each other, as well as the support they found in each other since they first met.

Jaebum had been kicked out from his house, his parents had cut off all connection with him when he confessed his most intimate secret: he was gay, and, coming from an extremist religious family, that was a great shame, an aberration and they didn’t wanted such disgrace to be called their son.

Youngjae, on the other hand, had had severe bullying problems in school, and as a result, he had developed a deep depression and continuous anxiety attacks, attacks that only diminished with the pain of a razor cutting and piercing his skin; his parents didn’t care at all about their only son's problems, as they didn’t seem to see the deep cuts on his wrists, or the fact that he wore long sleeves in the summer; his father focused more on the family he created behind their back and the reason why he left them overnight; his mother, due to her husband’s leave, she fell also into a deep depression that led her into turning and alcoholic and drug addict, so, most of the time she was too lost to remember she had a son who needed her.  

Yugyeom's still got goosebumps when, sometimes when his long sleeves lifted or he did some kind of movement with his wrists, he could see the thick scars that adorned Youngjae’s forearms, he could say that the people around him were somewhat repulsed when they saw the whitish marks, but Jaebum didn’t seem disgusted or scared by them, Jaebum had accepted him in his entirety, even with the horrible moment that remained in a vertical way in his skin, that moment when he had hit bottom and just wanted to sleep forever.

So, three years after they met at the lowest point in their lives, they denied any kind of relationship that wasn’t just a friendship, but it didn’t matter how much they said it wasn’t true or that they didn’t have feelings for each other, they couldn’t hide the loving looks with which they stared at each other, or even when they weren’t even face to face, a bright glow would appear in the other’s face when they saw their special other, even from far away.

Youngjae brightened Jaebum’s life with his smiles that could make a stormy day become sunny; they knew there was a lot of pain behind those smiles, but they also knew that Jaebum was the only one who had made him smile again in that way, open, pure, laughter as potent as his own voice.

Yugyeom had surprised Jaebum once, he had heard Youngjae’s screams and wails when they were finishing cleaning up the place after a long night, he had thought the boy was alone locked up in the bathroom, so he ran to see if he could help the older boy in some way, but he was kind of surprised when he saw Jaebum kneeling beside the singer, who was curled up in a ball in the floor, holding a sharp kitchen knife between his fingers and holding it again his skin, where blood trickled down to his clothes; Yugyeom had gotten so scared, but Jaebum was calm, talking to him softly, holding his hand until he dropped the knife, then Jaebum cleaned his wound and kissed it over and over, telling him everything would be alright. After that, it was common to see him stroking lovingly his scars, Jaebum would always sing to him, or talk to him to help him overcome any attack he may have, he would stay with him as much time as needed so he would made sure Youngjae wouldn’t hurt himself again.

At those times, Yugyeom knew that between them there was some fond and strong love, and he thought it was pointless to deny it, and the only ones they were fooling with their words were themselves.

"We'll make it official when you admit what you feel about BamBam.” Youngjae countered and Yugyeom, who had taken a big sip of BamBam's beer, spat at the bar in surprise. He looked at Youngjae, still with beer running down his chin, who smiled at him between comforting and jokingly “just as much as you have pestered me saying we are too obvious, you are just the same with BamBammie.”

"No...We...no..." Yugyeom stammered, feeling his face redden, but Youngjae just raised an eyebrow and wiped the beer from the younger’s chin “You know I can’t say anything, we are best friends and he has…”

“He had Lisa” Youngjae said, and ordered another two shots of tequila.

“BamBam is not gay, he may be very effeminate and with a great fashion sense, but he’s not gay. What good would it do to tell him how I feel? It will just make our friendship awkward or I might ruin it because of it.

"I used to say the same thing about Jaebum Hyung when I met him, before I knew the real reason he was kicked out of his house, you know how he always says it was because he wanted to dedicate himself to music and dance." Youngjae sighed. “You have seen him, you know him, it seems like he despises any skin ship with other man or any gay action.”

“But that's because Jaebum is only gay for you, or well, it only shows for you, well, you and Jinyoung, but he knows Jinyoung since kindergarten so it doesn’t count.” It was Yugyeom’s turn to reason with Youngjae.

"Listen, we're going to drink this and I propose you a deal." He held out his glass to the taller boy "You go and declare your unrequited and undying love for him, and I go, take a microphone and Jaebum and I make public the fact that we have been formally dating for over six months now, and that I do love him so much and I know he does too, that we even fuck sometimes in his office in the middle of the show, blah, blah, agree?” Yugyeom grimaced, but he didn’t know if it was because of the information he certainly didn’t wanted to hear, especially because he went to that office to many times, or because of the deal Youngjae had offered him. 

“You do realize that BamBam is so piss drunk to act coherently to my words, right?”

“Well, if he doesn’t react like you want too, you can just say that the alcohol was talking, and maybe you’ll have a selective amnesia in the morning” Youngjae shrugged “Yugyeom, if you take risks you are going to keep with this one-sided love forever, I had to tie up my balls and declare my love to Jaebum or he would never to that himself, maybe it’s the same with BamBam. Sometimes we have to be reckless and act on the impulse of our love.”

“God, I hate the way you speak, you are all so poetry and…”

“And I’m right, come one” he offered the other glass to Yugyeom who took it, still unsecure “deal?”

Yugyeom looked with despair at Youngjae. Yes, his life was almost an ordeal to be in love with his best friend for almost a year and a half. At first, he wanted to be deceived by the fact that the strange beating in his heart, the tingling sensation in his stomach and the imperative necessity to protect him and take care of him always was because his friendship was beyond he would have thought, and not by the fact he was in love with him, after all, how could he know about true love if he had never had the chance to be told about love in a romantic way?

But after several overly careful talks with Jinyoung about how he realized that he didn’t really love Jaebum as much as his friend (because they had dated for a while before) and why BamBam knew he loved Lisa, Yugyeom could realize that, that strange feeling that filled his whole body was love, or at least a romantic attraction towards his slim, fashionista, bubbly, hyperactive friend.  

And yes, at first, he hadn’t tried anything and had kept that in the depths of his heart (or not so deep if everyone knew what he felt), ignoring those pangs of jealousy whenever he saw BamBam with Lisa, ignoring all those dreams in which he hugged and kissed the younger, or those other dreams that made him woke up all sticky and with a real trouble in his pants, that he had to relieve in his solitude; he treasured every moment they spent alone, even if it was a dance practice, shopping or just eating ramen after a long night at the club, he always prayed to heaven for that horrible torment of his unrequited love was.

"Okay” Yugyeom finally sighed, taking the shot with a brave gulp “Let’s do this” he stood up, resolutely.

However, bad luck seemed to follow him wherever he went or whatever he did.

He walked towards the dance floor, walking surely, the plan in his mind was to dance a little more with BamBam and then to take him to a more private place; he would let his tongue speak all the things he felt in his aching heart, or his mouth and body release his hidden desires. But fate or someone else wanted to ruin that plan.

He had a big surprise when people disperse a little, he found BamBam dancing with Jackson, or more like grinding, face to face, so close one to another that it was impossible to know who limb belonged to whom, the thin body of the Thai wrapping himself against the strong body of the older, his hands grabbing to his blonde hair, Jackson was telling him something on his ear, which made BamBam smile with pleasure and arch his neck, allowing Jackson brush his lips against the white skin.

As Yugyeom stepped back, Youngjae put a hand on his back, preventing him from running away, but he would rather run away from there than watch as Jackson wrapped BamBam’s plump lips with his in the dirtiest and a lustful kiss he had ever seen, a kiss that broke his heart a little, making it beat painfully against his chest, several tears, that he couldn’t avoid, filled his eyes, he turned around so he won’t see that scene, his best friend, the person he had been in love for a long time, kissing passionately a completely stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are now starting the whole drama!!! stay tied to your seats! 
> 
> I don't even know what I am saying, I have to apologize deeply if there's any mistakes, because I have graveyard shift at the hospital and it KILLS ME, and literally transalted this at 3-4am :v (I go from 20:30-8 it's the death of me believe me T.T) but I won't rant about how tired I am in here XD I swear! 
> 
> Anyways, I just want to clarify that I don't hate Lisa, in fact, I am a Blinker (wait...is that how Black Pink fans are called? LOL...need to sleep :v -yes, I just came out from the hospital, so no SLEEP THE SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!!!). I fucking love Rose, and I do ship BamBam with Lisa, but, BamBam it's too gay to function xD 
> 
> AND YEEESSS I HAD TO PUT 2JAE IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to write more SOOOO I AM WRITING A 2JAE SPIN OFF VERY SOON!!! How they met, why they met, how they fell in love, those times in Jaebum's office, those panic attacks, WAIT FOR IT!!! Also I am thinking on a MarkJin but I kinda need what issues Mark and Jinyoung is going to have (thinking about drugs and rape victim) if you had an idea, or there is something you'd like to see tell me in the comments!
> 
> Also, tell me what do you think about this! I love hearing from you! It's the best feedback and my vitamins to keep writing stories to keep you entretained, we need more YugBam fics in here! 
> 
> So, I do really need to sleep. So I'll go. After I wake up I'll look for a beta XD I REALLY NEED ONE!!!
> 
> (BTW YUGBAM'S SUB UNIT, YOUNG AND RICH! a HUEVO they had too be young and rich, so sassy!!!) 
> 
> Love you guys!!! Thanks for commenting and subscribing! 


	3. When Everything Was Fine

A few seconds after Yugyeom left him to go get drinks, he felt a body clinging to his, moving to the rhythm of the loud techno music that echoed all over the place. BamBam knew it was too soon for Yugyeom to return, and the hands that had clung to his hips had a different grip, a bit stronger and manly, a grip that was consistent with the smell of expensive cologne and cigarettes his nose perceived.

BamBam turned around quickly, somewhat surprised, but at the same time intrigued to know who was the owner of those hands that clung so securely to his hips; he was even more surprised when he saw Jackson, one of the investors, behind him.

"I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, it's just that you dance too well that I couldn’t resist, but I apologize, I shouldn’t have taken advantage that your  boyfriend is gone” BamBam blinked and smiled at him, his mind too clouded with alcohol as to respond consistently. "I know they introduced us, but let me do it again, Jackson Wang." He held out a hand.

“BamBam” he took his hand with a firm hold.

"Weird name.” Jackson answered, smiling warmly, and BamBam felt as if something were stirring inside him, he feared for a moment that he was about to vomit, but no, it was a different sensation.

"Do you prefer Kunpimook Buhwakul?" The boy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I think BamBam is not so bad after all," Jackson laughed, surprising BamBam with how different his laughter was to his voice, while his voice was low, raspy and manly, his laughter was sharp, childlike, the way his eyes narrowed to almost disappear was absolutely adorable.

"He's not my boyfriend," the younger babbled, utterly stunned by alcohol and the presence of the elder.

“Sorry?” Excusing himself from the loud music, he took him from his waist and approached his ear, the touch caused an electric current that ran from the nape of his neck to his feet, never felt anything like that.

"Yugyeom, he's not my boyfriend, he's my best friend," he replied, his alcoholic mind telling him to stick his lips to his ear as he spoke "I just broke up with my girlfriend so...”

"Oh, so you're straight?" There was a clear disappointment in his voice.

"I can’t tell…” BamBam giggled “I’m too drunk to think straight…or as straight as I thought I was…”

"Well, I guess there's no harm in it if we dance for a while, right?" He had just finished asking the question when his hips had already begun to move slowly.

It even seemed like a joke, at that exact time their hips began to move, the music had changed from something more techno to a slower, more sensual tempo, which made his skin react, his body slowly rubbing against the older, almost in automatic mode, a little more obscene, in a more sexual way.

Jackson's hands clung to the small of his back and the other stroked carefully one of his slender thighs. BamBam felt as his breathing began to accelerate, Jackson's gaze had left that charismatic look from the beginning, now his look was somewhat dark and, BamBam could be very drunk, but he knew that look was pure desire.

From one moment to another, Jackson let out a growl of frustration and decided that it was time to taste those thick lips that caught his attention from the first moment that he saw he young dancer.

BamBam was surprised when he felt those lips on his, but the way they moved against him hypnotized him quickly, causing his hands to tangle in his hair, it was something short, but soft and smooth, he had thought his hair must be quite damaged as seeing the platinum color the older male had, so he was quite pleased when he felt the silkiness and smoothness, so, he pulled his hair with a little bit more strength, answering that hot kiss.

Jackson's manly hands grabbed him by the belt loops and pulled his body closer to his, putting a knee between his legs, stroking, unintentionally, his crotch with his strong thigh, which reacted too easily, stiffening and tightening against his pants. For the first time in his life he regretted wearing something way too tight.  

"Oh my God...I'm sorry." BamBam apologized, completely embarrassed that his body had reacted in such a way, he could feel his agitated breath and his flushed face thanks to a mixture between the heat of the place, the energy he had used in dancing, the alcohol in his system and the effect of that man on his entire body.

"Don’t worry, no one is watching us and I'm covering you up." Jackson panted "Come on, let's go somewhere else..." he panted again, kissing his jaw, climbing up to his lips again, kissing him again, sucking his thick lips and introducing his naughty tongue into the foreign cavity, their tongues found themselves a few seconds, dancing against each other. Another horde of fire ran through the Thai's body and made him moan softly against the other's mouth, sighing and his hands tightening the grip on his hair. Could anyone kiss so well as to make him mad with so little?

"It's not that...I don’t think I’ll be able to move in a while” BamBam admitted, lowering his face with some pity, still feeling his erection sinking furiously into the other's crotch.

"I know what you’re talking about, I can feel It." he smiled rather loftily and his hands rested comfortably on his waist. "That's why I'm telling you to go somewhere more private.”

“What do you have in mind?” BamBam asked him, the hands that had settled on his hip were now beginning to descend slowly, reaching his butt.

"Well, let's just say I know a hotel where I have a room available to me any day of the year, at any time, and I assure you, we will not be disturbed." Jackson whispered in his ear in a hoarse voice, now he was deliberately touching his butt, squeezing it in his hands.

BamBam knew he had to say no, after all, he was a complete stranger, he didn’t do that with strangers, he didn’t liked it when people did that with strangers, he thought it was silly to give all their intimacy to an unknown person for just a few hours of passion and pleasure.

But there was something about Jackson that made him feel attracted to him like a magnet, he couldn’t tell if it was the tone of his voice, the way his lips moved against his, his smile or just the alcohol in his system, he didn’t knew what made him feel that way, what made him nod slightly, his eyes traveling through the crowd to see if he saw his best friend or someone to stop that madness, but he didn’t distinguish anybody, he couldn’t saw beyond the cheerful smile Jackson gave him.

“Well, let’s go” Jackson kissed him one more time and this time they struggled more to separate “wait, first we have to make sure that this,” he palmed his erection over the fabric of his pants and to BamBam almost let out a loud groan “doesn’t look too noticeable.” He just stuck his hand into his pants, kissing him busily for a while, but his hand was busy pinning the tip of his dick on the elastic of his boxers, BamBam felt that touch like fire and he was sure he was about to have a spontaneous combustion or he was about to cum, maybe it was a similar reaction. He grabbed the back of Jackson’s head and returned the kiss, trying to show all the lust he felt inside “Yes, we need to go now.”

He took his hand firmly, beginning to advance among the crowd, who gave them looks of reproach and surprise, he knew that most of the people present  were judging him hard, how could a person with Jackson’s status wanted to take, God knows where, someone like him? He perfectly knew because he had thought that exact thing lots of times, however, now he thought there was nothing wrong with it, it was just a little bit of fun; the guy was super-hot and he was interested in him, both were adults (even if BamBam was barely an adult) and both had an significant alcohol level in their blood, and that’s what single adults do when they are drunk, right?

He only hoped Yugyeom would forgive him for having left without telling him, but him didn’t had to get mad at him, he had told him he had to distract himself, and what better distraction than having sex with someone else than Lisa, doing it for the first time with a man, and what a man.

Jackson had to stop near the door, because some girl had spoken to him, taking him by the arm and bringing her big boobs closer to the older man, perhaps in a last attempt to make him forget the skinny dancer and look at her.

BamBam paused along with him, and,  as he adjusted his bangs that were itching his eyes, he thought he saw Jinyoung kissing passionately the other investor, they were in one of the small lounge chairs that were scattered around the place, his boss was sitting, or rather, straddling the other guy, with his hands lost inside the blond guy’s shirt; it was the first time BamBam saw him act that way, that was the main reason he didn’t believe it was Jinyoung in the first place as the boy had never showed any sings that he was in love, or interested, in someone, but there had been a couple times in which the owner had come to work with a slight limp, several hickeys on his neck and clavicles, and, sometimes even more than once, with some marks on the wrists. 

“Ready?” Jackson asked BamBam, who was squinting to see if it was really Jinyoung who was almost eating the young investor, he still couldn’t believe it was Jinyoung, he knew Jinyoung had too much professionalism to do such actions, more less in public “what are you…? Oh…” Jackson sighed “I told Mark not to get involved” he gritted his teeth “I told him to stop himself, even when we have heard our new partner is one of the best whores out there.” He sighed.

“What do you mean?” BamBam asked, frowning. “Whore?”

“You don’t know?” Jackson asked, the Thai shook his head “well, it's not for me to say it, just ask him some day how it was that they kept afloat a club, a house, a boy and other things when the club was in its bad days” he sighed again, casting a sidelong glance at the two of them, it was now Mark who kissed eagerly the other’s collarbone, while the other was looking for his belt buckle “just…it would be best if he didn’t mess around with someone of the club” BamBam looked at him, eyebrow raised.

“Oh…okay then…”

"No, sorry, I didn’t mean that...rather, it’s not good if he screws one of the owners, nor when he has kind of a bad reputation, but…he may not have told me the same thing about not fucking the workers or the owners, but, I never listen to him, so…he may get fucked or fuck with whomever he likes” he took one of his hands again “I am not going to waste the chance to be with the only reason I decided to invest in this club” and after a chaste peck on his lips, he lead the way outside the establishment.

X

X

X

He tried not to look very impressed when they arrived at one of the most luxurious hotels in the richest area, well, it was obvious, they were in Gangnam district, but he was still surprised by how much luxury there was in that place, and above all, everyone bowed deeply to Jackson and from the mouth of each employee a “Good night, Mr. Wang” was heard, and when they reached the reception desk, Jackson just had to reach out his hand and the girl at the desk gave him a small golden key.  

BamBam thought he would receive many looks of disgust and reproach, because of his extravagant clothing and the slight wobble he had when walking, and since he had decided to stay a little behind Jackson, he couldn’t lean on him, so each time they stopped he had to look for a surface to calm his wobbling legs. To his surprise, only a few employees dared to look at them directly and only saw a frown and it was from a somewhat old cleaning lady.

“When you said you knew a hotel, did you mean...?" BamBam asked in his ear when they were on the way to the elevator, in that quiet place he could hear how much he was slurring his words when speaking.

"That I own this hotel, or co-own, rather, since the company itself belongs to my parents." He wrapped an arm around him again and pulled him towards him, once he had pressed the elevator button “Don't worry, no one will say anything, my parents kind of already know how I am and what little they can do to prevent me from behaving this way, they say they don’t like my behavior, but, here among us, they are looking for me to marry, with whoever I want, they just want me to do it, it can’t be that most of the rival companies already have their sons and daughters in respectable marriages and me…well...I just keep having fun.”

"And you want to do it?" BamBam asked when the elevator doors opened with a soft ding.

"Maybe, let's just say I'm still looking for the right person." he gave him a look so intense that the Thai might have become pudding in those moments.

As BamBam's cheeks burned, Jackson beckoned to the young man in the elevator, handed him the key and he put it in the key hole on one of the buttons at the top, and, after a deep bow, he stepped out of the elevator.

They both entered and the doors barely closed when Jackson pushed BamBam against one of the walls, kissing him without wasting more time.

BamBam smiled a little against the other's mouth, he thought it was funny that the older was a little shorter than him and, to be able to kiss him, he had to stand on his tippy toes to reach his mouth properly, so the younger bent down his knees a bit so Jackson didn’t had so many problems.

However, the height difference didn’t seem to be an obstacle for Jackson; his body stuck to the younger’s, his hands ran through his hair, his back, introducing barely his fingertips under the tallest shirt. Their tongues found each other with familiarity, already accustomed to the rhythm imposed by the older, dancing gently against each other, but with lots of passion, one against the other, sucking and biting, ripping moans and sighs that filled the elevator, being the only sound that could be heard.

Before Jackson’s hand could fully go inside BamBam’s shirt, the doors opened again with their characteristic ‘ding’ and this time BamBam couldn’t suppress a small gasp of surprise when, once he could separate from Jackson, he saw that, instead of the long corridor with doors at the sides, they had come directly to a living room, with large windows showing the wonderful night landscape of Seoul.

The furniture had light colors, giving it a warm and sophisticated feel, the place was quite spacious and there was luxury everywhere, from the large flat screen embedded in one of the walls of the room, to the huge bar with glass shelves full of bottles of different liquors. There was also a small kitchen and his stomach flipped at the thought that behind a sliding door in smoked glass was the bedroom.

“You like? It's my little shelter" Jackson asked him, helping him take the shining jacket off, hugging him from the back.

"I'm sorry, it's just...wow...it's...wow" BamBam stammered. "I've never been in such a fine place.”

“Never? But I thought that…”

"Because of the designer clothes? No, my wardrobe is the only thing I spend most of my money, I actually don’t need much, I am happy living with Yugyeom in our apartment, besides, I don’t have to take care of anyone but me, even when I send money to my mom in Thailand I still have a lot left, so there’s no one else besides me, my ex thought that I couldn’t afford raising a child with her…” he spoke in a lower tone, walking around the living room and hugging his body “someday I’ll buy something like this for my mom” Jackson had to resist the urge to roll his eyes when he heard the nostalgia in his voice “I’m sorry, this is not the best topic of conversation when you’re about to…” he blushed again “but it’s the first time I do this, I was with my girlfriend since we were 13 years old and, well, she was a woman” he laughed nervously “ok, I need to shut up right now, I’m sorry,  I always talk up my elbows and when I’m sobering up it gets worse” he laughed again.

"Well, the good news is, as you can see, we have our own bar." He strode to the bar, taking two fine-looking bottles from the shelves and took two glasses “do you like some?” he asked, serving something that looked like tequila.

"I think I'm going to have an alcoholic congestion if I keep drinking." BamBam laughed, shaking his head, but still approached Jackson, taking one of the glasses.

"Don’t worry, I'll take care of you," Jackson assured him, winking at him and his arms not wasting time in positioning itself in his favorite position, circling the narrow waist.

“I guess a little bit more can’t do me much harm” he lifted his glass a little and drank a sip.

And again, after that drink came another, and another, and another, it also came kisses that seemed to have the same effect as alcohol, clouding their minds with an intoxicating but exciting sensation, their lips were addictive and the way Jackson touched his body made him want more and more.

They left the glasses in oblivion and, between kiss and caress, they took turns to pour the alcohol directly from the bottle in the other's mouth, immediately returning to kiss, even with more passion than the previous time.

They had left the kitchen, going through the armchair, the floor, the wall, whatever surface they had within reach, leaving a trail of clothing behind them, their hands touching intimacies, skin, scratching and biting with more desire.

When there was left a quarter of the bottle, Jackson put it on the center table in the living room and, taking BamBam’s hands, Jackson finally led him to the bedroom, both wearing only his underwear.

Jackson kissed his lips once more, pushing him until BamBam's knees bumped against the edge of the bed, causing him to fall into a mess of limbs, flushed face and moist lips, his eyes glittering with lust.

“Why are you so perfect?” Jackson whispered, leaning on the edge of the bed, placing kisses on his abdomen, smiling as he realized that his underwear, despite being Calvin Klein, was a bright pink “look at your skin, look at that softness...I bet your cock is all pink and cute” he stroked the bulge that was seen over the fabric “I want to suck you off” he growled and his lips kissed his erection over the boxer, making him moan louder than he expected “and after that I want to feel that mouth on my cock…with those thick lips…ufff…” he sighed, now licking the entire length, stroking his legs “It must feel great when you suck a cock” he kept whispering low, taking off the extravagant underwear, revealing his pink member, a little bit bigger and thicker than he expected “beautiful.”

And without hesitation he began to lick the extension, lubricating it perfectly with his saliva before putting it into his mouth and pumping his head hard, filling the room with the sounds of sucks and slurps that made harmony with the bustling breaths of BamBam and later, with his loud moans.

After five minutes, when Jackson's knees began to ache and BamBam was about to cum on several occasions, Jackson stood up and laid on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard and beckoning BamBam to accompany him on his side.

BamBam straddled Jackson, not quite knowing what to do, just letting go of the desire his body felt; he began by moving his hips, getting their intimacies together and rubbing them thanks to the sway of his hips.

Jackson moaned and his right hand buried, unashamedly, between his ass cheeks, touching with his index finger, the tight entrance of the younger, who felt another electric current ran though his body, drawing another groan and causing him to dig his nails in the strong chest of the older.

"Wait, I have to get the necessary things." Jackson stopped BamBam's hips, which had begun to push eagerly against his finger.

BamBam sat back with a slight grimace of frustration, watching intently as Jackson leaned over the nightstand, taking out a bottle of lube, several condoms and, to BamBam's astonishment, one contact lens case, it had the shape of a puppy and, although it was an object that didn’t fit at all in between all the things Jackson had taken out (but who knew, maybe he used contact lenses and wanted to take them out before continuing and fall asleep without any remorse) BamBam thought it was adorable.

“I don’t know if you've ever done this ..."

“Not with a man, but…"

"No, I don’t mean having sex with a man" Jackson laughed, waving his little contact lens case in his hands, which made a strange clacking noise. "I mean this." He opened one of the compartments and revealed a pile of something that looked like small paper sheets cut in small squares with happy faces on them.

“Is that…? “He asked, his eyes widening.

"LSD, but this is very strong for you if you haven’t taken any drugs before” Jackson replied “the first trip can be too overwhelming for a first timer, so, you want a pill?” he opened the other side, where there were a bunch of colorful pills, they looked like candy “have you ever taken drugs?” Jackson asked when he saw how BamBam just bit his lip.

"Just one time Yugyeom and I smoked weed one time, but we swore we were never going to do it again.” BamBam said.

"But Yugyeom isn’t here, is he?” Jackson asked him, taking a small piece of LSD and putting it on the tip of his tongue “If you never had had sex while high you’ll never know the huge difference there is; all your senses amplify, you feel a lot more, your penis gets hard as a rock and it’s difficult for it to go down, you have orgasm after orgasm, and each one stronger than the previous one” Jackson said, with one holding the drugs and the other caressing his inner thighs in something that pretended to be a reassuring way.  

BamBam looked at him doubtfully, his mother had told him incessantly that drugs were bad for him, it corrupted people, addictions were quite strong and hard to quit, in addition, to sustain the vice, people tended to do horrible things to buy the drugs; he didn’t felt very happy when he and Yugyeom shared a joint they had found while cleaning the lockers.

Well, yes, it had been fun and relaxing, they were still at the apartment they shared with Jinyoung and Jaebum, and they had just laid down in the couch, laughing at stupid things and getting hungry as ever, so they decided to eat whatever they found on the fridge (they would later found out they had eaten ALL the food) and when the older guys came home, they found them sitting on the living room floor, with the remains of the food all over the place, and, obviously, Jinyoung and Jaebum scolded them hard, but they were still high, so they had just laughed wearily at them and talked to them in an informal way, which caused a lot of ass whooping and making them pay for all the food of an entire week.

Definitely they had had fun while high, but once it came down and realized all they’ve done, the stomachache that followed after eating so much food (Yugyeom actually ended up forcing himself to vomit as his discomfort was way too much) and the whooping that followed for having talked to Jaebum in an informal way when he was in a bad mood for their misbehavior, they decided that it was not worth it a few minutes of pleasure for an entire week of punishment and swore to Jaebum and Jinyoung to never do it again.

But, those where his thoughts while he was sober, not precisely at those times when he had a blood alcohol level far above what was allowed, with a man too sensual between his legs, promising him the best fuck in his life; in the depths of his drunken mind appeared the faces of his mother and Yugyeom, looking at him with disapproving gestures, but he shove them away just shaking his head.

He would never be 19 again, shit, maybe he wasn’t going to have the chance to sleep with Jackson, or another owner of a luxurious hotel. In his sober and drunk mind there was always present his motto “you only live once” and he had to experiment several things to decide what was good or bad for him, and, to gain experience in the future and be able to provide with wise advice to the younger generations.

"Damn it all," BamBam said, taking one of the colorful pills and swallowing it bravely.

Jackson smiled pleased, the drug was already starting to work on his body, so his breathing was agitated, his pupils dilated and BamBam could feel his dick pulsating with desire under him.

Jackson tossed the box with the drugs anywhere, and flipped him over, so BamBam would be laying on his back, he spread his long legs and Jackson hissed at the beautiful image the younger offered him, applying a huge amount of lube on his fingers, and another directly over his tight hole.

When Jackson introduced his index finger, BamBam began to feel the effects of the drug he had taken, feeling his limbs light, almost as an extracorporeal experience, his heart began to beat harder, pumping more blood to his cheeks and erection; Jackson was right about that his senses would increase, but what pleased him most was that wherever Jackson touched him, the skin turned into fire.

"You're not as tight as I thought you would be," Jackson hissed, taking two fingers inside the Thai boy, moving them and scissoring them with a quick pace, all he had in mind was to bury his leaking cock in that virgin ass.

“When I say that I have never had sex with a man I mean I haven’t had cock up my ass, not that I haven’t  discovered how good it feels to get your fingers up there” BamBam answered, helping him separate his own ass cheeks and moaned in unison with Jackson as he added the last finger.

"Well, then, you're a very dirty whore," BamBam didn’t perceive the danger in the elder’s man voice.

"And what if you already put it in?” BamBam begged, masturbating his aching cock “I’m way too high to feel any pain and I just want to feel you inside.”

He didn’t have to ask twice, the younger felt empty as Jackson pulled his fingers from inside and during the agonizing minutes that passed meanwhile Jackson put on a condom over his erect manhood. BamBam took a deep breath, his hand still playing lazily over his manhood, when Jackson’s hands grabbed his hips and aligned the tip with his waiting hole.

He exhaled all the air in his lungs at the moment when Jackson's hips clashed with his buttocks, his eyes watered a little, but not from the pain of that sudden intrusion, but from the overwhelming pleasure that flooded his body, he had be certain about the drugs making him forget the pain.

Jackson began to ram his hips against the younger, it wasn’t a fast pace, but it was steady, delighting himself with the symphony of their skin clashing, his pants and BamBam’s sharp moans, admiring how the younger twitched under his body, with his cheeks flushed, his mouth half-open and eyes narrowed but staring directly at him.

His hips took a swift, accurate rhythm that made BamBam's entire body tremble and shake at his mercy. Jackson moved his legs at will, occasionally putting them in his shoulders, leaning his entire weight on his hands on the mattress, making the Thai bend in half; at another moment he took him by his ankles and spread his legs, testing the dancer’s flexibility, surprised by his ability to split his legs; after a few minutes he let BamBam wrap his waist with his long legs, Jackson falling on top of the younger, who kept saying intelligible things, a mixture between Korean, Thai and English, but also Jackson whispered the dirtiest words and curses his mind could think, but they were all in Chinese, but BamBam kind of understood him just by the husky tone his voice had.

BamBam could feel his end close, the pressure on his lower belly was too much, the muscles of his inner thighs kept contracting, he longed so much for his release that his lips kept saying “please” in a needy moan, Jackson could understand what it meant, so his right hand grabbed the other’s erection and the left, to BamBam’s surprise, closed around his neck with some force.

His oxygen supply was reduced, but not enough to lose consciousness, only to make him feel slightly dizzy, that feeling, coupled with the frantic way his hips clashed against each other and the caresses on his dick, plunged him into a silent orgasm, where his world turned white for several moments, his semen decorated his chest and abdomen with long strokes of white and his body went limp.

BamBam heard Jackson's growl and, when he stopped thrusting against him, he knew that he had also reached his precious orgasm, a few minutes after him.

“Oh my God!” The older man gasped, falling completely on top of the younger one, coming out of him and causing BamBam moan softly for the sudden feeling of emptiness “I told you it would be difficult for him to come down” BamBam just opened one eye and saw how Jackson was rolling over to lay beside him, still with his dick hard.

"Well, give me five minutes and some water."  BamBam complained, entangling his body with Jackson’s, feeling cramps from his thighs to the small of his back. "I want to keep walking and tomorrow I have to work, so...guess no more fucking for today” he kissed his lips hungrily.

"When do you have a day off?" Jackson asked, hugging him with one arm.

“We close on Mondays” BamBam said, leaning against his chest.

"Well, when you get off work on Sunday I’m going to fuck you so hard and until weariness” Jackson said, his hand running down his back towards his butt, and squeezing the soft flesh between his fingers, BamBam felt his cheeks redden and stretched to kiss him once more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> irst of all, never translate anything when you have a horrible headache turning into a migraine.
> 
> this is kind of lame, I know, it's just that... *deep sigh* I've gone through a lot lately and I feel like shit, but writing is the only thing that keeps me from falling into deep depression (who am I kidding, I am already there *deep sigh again*) you don't have to take the consequences of me feeling like a worthless piece of shit.
> 
> Anyways, I apologize for any mistakes I just translated this and didn't proof read .-. let's pray it doesn't take me another month and a half to update. 
> 
> BTW, You Are is one of the best songs of 2017, I am so proud of all of them ;.; and Younjae is looking so fine as fuck! and Jinyoung became my bias wrecker this era (last era was BamBam) and maybe Jackson, I just want to protect him from all he haters and see him return to his normal slef, it hurts my heart to see him so down, quiet and apologizing for almost everything he does, it's not fair, it's not like it's his fault or something, why would you bash him for releasing some solo songs and having his own Team??? I was so proud of him, he looked so proud, everyone is so proud of him and now he has to apologize for simgimg a fickimg single line. not. fair. why would they even think that Jackson wants to leave GOT7 when he's the ome that said that in 20 years he was still going to be GOT7. IGH....I'll stop ,y ramt right now, I'll just get angrier.
> 
> Anyways, even though I love Jackson this story is designed to make you hate him...so...bear with me in this xD and I know the smut isn't what you expected, I feel like I've written to much smut in may life that I don't know what else to put already xD lulz
> 
> See the MarkJin???? there's more MarkJin coming :D along with their own spin off...it'll be...interesting.
> 
> ok...too much talking, you don't even read this xS 
> 
> SAYONARA BYE BYE!!!
> 
> tks for the comments and subscribes and all that. You guys are awesome.


	4. The Truth Untold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of rape and use of drugs.

In the distance he heard the ringing tone of his cell phone, but his whole body was heavy and he didn’t wanted to move, not when there was a concrete block over crushing him. 

When he changed positions, to bury himself more in the comfortable pillows, he felt a throbbing pain from his entrance to his lower back; A silly little smile crossed his lips as he recalled the events of the previous night and that, although he had asked for a break, Jackson had ended up fucking him two more times (all thanks to BamBam's pleas), ending very early in the early morning, until the effect of the drugs diminished and both fell asleep deeply.

Still with that smile on his lips and his aching body, he crawled across the bed to find the heat of the other man, taking a big surprise when he reached the other side of the bed and realized he was alone in that huge bed.

He sat up ruefully, a strong sunlight was coming through the huge windows, which indicated him that it was late in the evening, and he wasn’t sure what time it was, so he reached for his cell phone, his eyes narrowed when the bright screen dazzled him, making his head start to throb in pain. 

He sighed when he saw that he had more than twenty missed calls from Yugyeom, five from Jaebum, one from Jinyoung and thousands of messages in the club's group chat, as well as in his private conversation with Yugyeom, but when he saw the time he understood why all those frantic messages and calls, it was past 3 in the afternoon. 

He stood up with care, as he was still sore, and slowly placed his clothes, which were clean and carefully folded at the foot of the bed. He went out to the living room, where he heard Jackson's raspy voice, now a little hoarse, talking on the phone in Cantonese, his tone indicating that he was upset for some strange reason and the conversation seemed more like an argument, in front of him, on the coffee table, there was a thin line of white powder, which BamBam had a slight suspicion of knowing what it was.

Jackson noticed his presence and pointed to the dining table, which had several dishes, at that time BamBam realized he was starving, so he approached eagerly to eat something while Jackson was done with his call, it wasn’t much time after that, as, while shoving the fourth piece of sushi in his mouth, Jackson threw his cell phone with annoyance to the armchair.

“For a moment I thought you had gone into a coma” Jackson greeted him, going towards him “The maids even had time to wash the clothes we left lying around everywhere, which reminded me that I should offer therapy for possible traumas.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” BamBam asked him.

“Because you were just too cute while sleeping, also, I had to deal with some personal matters and you would have gotten really bored all by yourself” Jackson replied “at what time do you have to go to work?” 

“Around seven, I still have some time left” BamBam shrugged, biting his lower lip, his body was claiming for a rest, but his mind was getting flushed with all the ideas of what they could do in those two hours.” 

“Do you want some? It’ll help you wake up and not feel so hungover.” Jackson pointed cocaine.

“Isn’t a little drastic if I go from pills to coke?” BamBam asked, taking a little of that fine powder on his finger. “Does it hurt?” 

“It only burns at the beginning, look, I know you won’t be able to do a complete line, and we have to maintain ourselves as functional adults, so, you do a half, and I do the other one” Jackson leaned over, and inhaled the powder with agility, his eyes teared up a bit and hold his breath for a few seconds, sniffling nonstop after it “And don’t you fucking dare to sneeze, this is the good one and doesn’t deserve to be discarded among snot” BamBam laughed nervously. 

_"Don’t be a pussy now, Kunpimook, not in front of him and after all you’ve done last night, it’s going to be just this time.”_ BamBam thought to himself when he knelt in front of the “ _nothing will happen to you if you do it only this time."_

X

X

X

The air that poured through the window of Jackson's BMW made him feel a euphoria that could only be due to the drugs in his system, that was a wonderful feeling and he didn’t wanted it to end, he felt free, he felt uninhibited; Jackson did so many wonders with his mouth that he never wanted to leave that hotel room, but, unfortunately, he had to go back to real life, to work, and he felt completely disillusioned when they stopped with a skid in the back of the new establishment, where half the club was waiting for the owners to arrive, so they could enter.

Their companions were astonished when both got out of the car, looking fresh like a lettuce, wearing the same clothes from the night before, wearing their designer sunglasses and, when they really couldn’t hide their astonishment, was when they saw how Jackson put an arm around the Thai's waist.

“Where the fuck have you been? Why the fuck do you want a fucking phone if you’re not going to answer it!” Yugyeom rushed to them as soon as he saw them, he was visibly upset, but relieved to see that his best friend was, at least, still alive “You didn’t even deign to tell me that you were leaving, or with whom you were leaving…” 

“I was busy, okay?” BamBam replied briefly.

“And in your busyness, couldn’t you send me a fucking text message?” Yugyeom counterattacked , throwing a look of disgust at Jackson and reaching out to push his friend away from the investor.

“Hey, relax!” BamBam defended himself, pulling his arm to release from Yugyeom’s grip, Jackson intervened, pulling him towards him, putting a protective arm over his waist. 

“Excuse me, he was with me, alright? And yes, indeed, we were too busy making love to have time to answer to a boring little boy who doesn’t know how to have fun. It was your fault leaving him alone last night” Jackson said, putting a smirk on his lips and, although Yugyeom was much taller than the older, he still backed up a little with the aggressiveness on his voice “So, relax, dude, because BamBam is going to start spending more time with me than with you. 

“And why would he do that?” Yugyeom asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“That happens when you become someone's boyfriend, idiot.” Jackson answered and some gasps of surprise were heard around.

Yugyeom took another step back, as if he had been slapped in the face, BamBam turned to see Jackson as if he were the most amazing person in the world, but for Yugyeom the look that Jackson gave the younger was nothing more than pure possessiveness, the tone in his voice was like an alarm signal ringing in the air, but the Thai didn’t seem to notice any of that.

“Guys, that’s enough” Jaebum suddenly appeared, putting himself in the middle of Jackson and Yugyeom “The good thing is that BamBam is safe and back. Now today is the opening of this place, and we need to start with the right foot and in holy peace, please.” He said, directing his words more towards Jackson than the others “Let’s go inside, everyone, get ready for the show.” He opened the establishment door, letting his employees in, who were still in awe with all that was going on. “Except you, BamBam” he put a hand in the younger’s chest when he tried to follow the others, after kissing Jackson goodbye. “You and I need to have a long talk” BamBam rolled his eyes, not caring if Jaebum could see his gesture even with his sunglasses on, and walked behind him, towards the main office. 

When they arrived at the place, Jinyoung was already there, looking a little paler and haggard than usual, Mark was also there, sitting in one of the chairs, avoiding looking at Jinyoung as much as possible, he could feel a somewhat tense and uncomfortable atmosphere, but maybe it was only due to concern for Thai.

Yugyeom managed to sneak into the office before Jaebum closed the door, he thought that his bosses were going to immediately get him out of there, since it was a matter only with BamBam, but, they ignored him arbitrarily, or, as it was more probably, Yugyeom also deserved to be in there, since, since they had met, they had never seen them separated.

The three oldest stared at him with questioningly gesture, waiting for BamBam to say something, but the Thai just sat in an armchair, looking with interest at his nails, biting the inside of one of his cheeks, still with his adrenergic system acting at full speed because of the effect of drugs.

“So?” Jaebum finally asked, sitting in front of him and crossing his arms “Are you going to give us some explanation or something?” 

“Why should I give it to you?” BamBam said, raising an eyebrow “I mean, you used to have one night stands all the time and nobody wanted explanations, Jinyoung just had one last night, why aren’t you questioning him? Is he the only one that deserves to have a little fun?” Jaebum’s gaze, already serious and cold, hardened even more, at any other time, he would have already BamBam claiming for mercy, but this time he was determined to be a little more patient, however, his limit wasn’t too high; Jinyoung, by his side, had clenched his fist tightly. 

“We are not trying to stop you from having fun, as you call it” Jaebum spoke slowly “but with whom you do it…” 

“Then, can I whore around with the clients like Hoseok and Jungkook? Or are you going to scold me for hooking up with one of the investors? Ask your ex-boyfriend with whom he was last night and where, check his body, I’m sure Mark filled his body with hickeys, like the whore he is.” Every word BamBam said was filled with maliciousness, Jinyoung opened his eyes widely and bit his fist, trying to stop some tears that, for some reason, threatened to leave his eyes “Oh, well, I guess it’s also okay to hook up with some idiot kit without willing to live, seriously, Jaebum, why do you even try to get him better if he clearly has no desire to keep living, not even for you?” he let out a deceptive laugh “I bet he’s going to kill himself before…” 

PLAFF

Everyone held their breath when Jaebum, trembling with rage, stood up and gave BamBam a loud slap. Immediately Mark stood up and stopped Jaebum, Yugyeom pulled BamBam back, who had also stood up, Jinyoung had also stood up, his eyes still red and approached the younger, inspecting his face carefully.

“What drug are you on?” Jinyoung asked and BamBam just looked at him, trying to control his face, but there was still a mocking smile in his lips “Come on, Bammie, you would never say that kind of things” he cleared his throat “besides, I know the sings, so, talk, what are you on?” 

“BamBam, just answer” Yugyeom begged, almost in the verge of tears, in all of the years together they had never had a problem as serious as that, he couldn’t believe what his ears were hearing. 

“Cocaine” Mark sighed, speaking for the first time, rubbing the bridge of his nose, holding Jaebum, who was breathing like an angry bull “Jackson is addicted to many things, but his favorite party drug is cocaine.”

“But...BamBam and I swore that we would never…” Yugyeom started, watching carefully at his best friend, and then he saw his dilated pupils and felt his racing heart under his touch, he felt as if a brick had fallen on his stomach “BamBam, why…?” 

“Because you only live once, I had to try it some day and decide for myself if I didn’t like it.” 

“Where did you get such accusations towards Jinyoung?” Jaebum asked, with his jaw clenched. 

“I thought you knew about him. So many years together and you didn’t knew your ex is a whore?” BamBam laughed again and the aforementioned just lowered his face “Last night, I saw how those two were about to fuck in a couch in the club, so, if they were so brazen to do it in public, I guess nothing stopped them to go to a more private place, are you also on the contract? Is this why they decided to sign with you? Are you that good of a whore so he can’t be apart from you? 

“Enough, Kunpimook, enough” Jinyoung begged, calling him by his real name “you don’t know…don’t talk…don’t say a thing…” Jinyoung was shaking uncontrollably and Mark kept looking at him out of the corner of his eyes, with an expression hard decipher. 

“Enough, this can’t continue, especially today” Jaebum said, ruffling his hair “I don’t know who told you all that” he turned to see Mark, who nodded and left the room briskly “But don’t talk if you aren’t certain about that information, you’ve gone too far, BamBam. Go home.”

“What?!” BamBam asked with incredulity “Today is the inauguration, Yugyeom and I have the last number, the most spectacular eve you said over and over that we were going to close with a flourish.” 

“You heard me, you can’t present yourself in the state you are in, you know it, is in the rules, none of my dancers are going to stand on a stage if they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.” Jaebum said with a coldness that froze the whole office “Go home, now, don’t come here until you're really sorry for the things you said, we have thousands of excellent dancers who can do it just as well as you, everyone knows that nobody is essential here.” Jaebum said, BamBam opened his mouth in surprise.

“Are you firing me?!” 

“No, I'm sending you to rest, Jinoyungie is right, this is not you talking, go home, now” Jaebum said with confidence “And Yugyeom, make sure he won’t escape again.”

“You can’t stop me from going with my boyfriend, it’s not like you’re my dad or something…” 

“You can’t be boyfriend of someone who just met for a day, BamBam” Yugyeom tried to reason with his friend.

“It's not as if you could avoid it” and , turning around and striding away, he left the office as an enraged teenager.

“I’ll go with him” Yugyeom said with sadness, watching how Jinyoung was still planted amid the office, with his shoulders shaking with the strong sobs he was trying to repress, when the younger closed the door behind him, he heard Park Jinyoung breaking in loud sobs, and he wondered if, perhaps, all the things BamBam said where somewhat true.

X

X

X

It turned out that BamBam didn’t showed any signs of feeling sorry until a week later, and that only because Yugyeom had to beg him to return to the club, since it was not the same since he was gone, he knew that his friend was quite proud and, despite being repentant, he wasn’t going to say that he was wrong. 

After a lot of insisting, both of them asked to speak with their bosses, and as soon as the door closed behind him, BamBam knelt, apologizing sincerely, Yugyeom with his heart in a thread and the oldest looking at him with a hard gesture, hearing his story from that night and how he was regretting every inch of it, defending his sudden love for Jackson, and apologizing for his harsh words. 

“And finally” BamBam had said between sobs and hiccups “Jaebum Hyung, you know I didn’t mean anything of the things I said about Youngjae Hyung, I appreciate him as much as you, well, not as much because you love him, but I do appreciate him, and I really want him to get out of his depression and make him know how valuable he is to you and to everyone of us, I just…I don’t know, I guess I was feeling jealous that he has someone that worries about him, but I guess I have that person too, so I was just a fool for feeling that way, and I did deserved that slap.” 

Yugyeom looked at his friend, hoping he would give him a look, hopeful that he was that person who always cared for him, who had always been there for him since the first day they met, but, BamBam never turned him to see him and Yugyeom felt his heart give a painful beat when he realized that, perhaps, he wasn’t referring to him, but Jackson.

“And, Jinyoung Hyung” his lip trembled harder “I think I a more sorry to you than someone else, I made accusations simply because Jackson told me, I didn’t even stop and think if they were actually true, after all, I’ve lived with you for a long time and I know that you are the opposite of what I said.”

“Your words weren’t the most polite or kind, but they were true, in a certain way.”Jinyoung sighed. “I think you already are part of my family, as is Jaebum, after all I've basically raised you, I think you deserve to know…one of my darkest secrets.”

And that's how Yugyeom and BamBam found out about many things that they had never imagined could have happened to Jinyoung, and definitely, they didn’t wanted to hear. 

Jinyoung began his story when he was still a child, living happily with his parents, being a dear friend of Jaebum, having a relatively normal and happy life, until one day a relative of his father came to the house, with too many debts, problems with addictions and things that at that time Jinyoung couldn’t understand, what he remembered was that he didn’t liked all the looks his “Uncle” gave him, nor how he grabbed his shoulder at random moments, nor how he entered his room at night and caressed his legs, and he didn’t definitely liked one night in which his father had to take his mother to the hospital, his sisters were at a sleep over with a friend, just being them in the house, after all, someone had to take care of him.

Jinyoung began to tremble inconsolably when he began to tell how it all began with a bath, Jinyoung could already do it by himself, he was 8 years old after all, but his Uncle had insisted on accompanying him, washing him, touching his delicate skin with his thick and rough hands, breathing heavily on his neck, making movements with his hand behind his back, movements that he didn’t knew what they were at that age, but he would never forget the sounds that man made masturbating, seeing the kid naked. 

His martyrdom began that night, and all before the eyes of his parents, to this day Jinyoung didn’t knew if they knew or suspected what his Uncle did to him, and if they knew, why had they never stopped him? 

Jinyoung had tried to tell his parents, his sisters, but his Uncle had threatened him, he was going to hurt his family if he ever told someone.

His Uncle got tired of just seeing and touching his skin, then, he began to touch his private parts, covering his mouth while whispering thousand threats, he then began to introduce his fingers into his anus, adding one each time Jinyoung began to beg for mercy, for him to stop; thousands of times he urinated on himself, and his mother only reprimanded him for doing so, how could an 8 year old boy be still wetting the bed? However, she was oblivious to the situation that was under their noses. 

And again, the man got tired of so little and decided to finish doing what he had wanted from the first moment he saw him.

Jinyoung didn’t remember feeling so much pain until that moment, with the head being crushed with one hand against the pillow, with his hands motionless under his body, the man crushing him completely with all his weight, penetrating him to exhaustion, spilling all his seed inside, not caring that his sheets of Pokémon were stained with a mixture of blood, semen, feces and urine, sheets that he had to wash, because his uncle had threatened to hurt his parents again.

Yugyeom pressed his fingers against the armrest so hard that he had lost sense of his fingers, which had turned white, he didn’t wanted to continue listening, he thought that his life had been cruel, but, compared to Jinyoung's story, his life seemed so much easier. He couldn’t believe something so brutal could have happened to him, after all, Jinyoung was always happy, somewhat savage, but he was caring, reserved, smart, kind, like none of that had happed to him. 

But now, he could see it, how deep his scars were, how horrifying all those moments were, Jinyoung couldn’t stop trembling, crying and sobbing, he hugged his body like trying to protect himself of invisible hands that tried to touch him. Yugyeom had never seen Jinyoung shed a tear, making him believe that he was the strongest out of all of them, and maybe he was. 

However, Jinyoung story didn’t end there, he explained that the man lived with them three more years, three years in which he continually abused him, up to a point in which Jinyoung stopped crying and begging for mercy, he stopped resisting, that had became almost normal for him. Still, he was relieved when that men finally left, going to the United States, and he hadn’t had heard of him since that day. 

Years later, when he turned 17 and almost had forgotten the torments of his past, becoming a normal, quiet and reserved to himself, but a normal teenager, he had stopped having nightmares, he had ceased to feel the hands of the man in his body every time he wanted to experience his sexuality like a normal boy of his age would have; he found out that he didn’t liked girls, and had began to fall in love, or so he thought, of his best friend, Jaebum, with whom he could have his first stable relationship. 

Everything was back to normal, he was happy with the life he was living, and then, his family started having money problems, they had fired his Father from his job, he and his sisters were at schools, with the oldest aiming for college, nor his mother or his father could find a job, and they needed money as soon as possible or they were going to be in a homeless situation. 

Jinyoung didn’t wanted to drop out from school, he loved going to school, he loved studying and reading books, he loved that he could talk to his friends and be with his boyfriend without having to hide, he wanted to continue on his way to achieve his biggest dream: to become a kindergarten teacher, however, he was forced to drop out from school and get a job, he was the only son, he needed to fulfill his role, he needed to help his family, even if that meant forgetting his dreams

Unfortunately, almost no one gave him a job where they paid enough, after all, he was just a high school boy drop out, it even came to a point in which Jinyoung had 3 part-time jobs, and it still wasn’t enough, they lived from day to day, there was even days in which he didn’t ate to save money for his family to eat. 

The anguish ruled his body until one day, the owner of one of the places where he worked, a karaoke, suggested something that would change his life.

Jinyoung knew that the Karaoke was a crummy place, frequented by gangs and mobsters, inside the rooms they made things more than just singing. Jinyoung had seen the used syringes and the remains of white dust, he had heard the moans in the toilets and had seen girls in short dresses leave with older men. 

Apparently, one of those older men, leader of some gang, had been interested in the boy's pleasant features and was willing to pay a considerable amount of money if he spent a few minutes in the VIP room he always rented.

“Just blow him and he will be happy, you don’t even have to do much” his boss had said “just do it, you want to save your family don’t you? You just have to open your mouth and let him fuck it.”

And so, the next day, Jinyoung had found himself kneeling in front of the man, his eyes watering every time the other’s penis reached the back of his throat, without any care, retching at the unhygienic smell of the man, humiliated, knowing that he had reached the lowest point of his life.

At least that man had the decency to cum his face, after only a few minutes of endless mouth-fucking, splashing his face with his stinky seed, however, Jinyoung had to run and kneel in front of a trash can to vomit, that had reminded him of his abuses before and he felt disgusted with himself.

“Don’t worry, boy, if you put to work that pretty mouth of yours more often, you will have escaped poverty in a short time” the man had said hoarsely while fixing his pants, meanwhile the boy was still spilling his guts in the trash can “You just need to get used to it.”

And after throwing a wad of bills at a nearby table, he left the room, leaving him alone, sweaty, his face full of semen and suffering from painful retching, and after all that, he just curled into a ball and began crying. 

“And that's how it started...My career” Jinyoung sighed, shrugging his shoulders and rubbing his eyes with force “That man hired me several more times, evolving from him just fucking my mouth, to me giving him a proper blowjob with pleasure, to let him fuck me,. He obviously told his rich friends, he told he was fucking a good whore, and of course they wanted to try it too, that’s how I got more clients that were willing to pay high prices just for a few hours with me. I stopped crying, I stopped being just motionless, I learned how to please them, I learned how to gain some pleasure from it, I just…became the best.” He let out a small laugh “Of course I couldn’t do any of that sober, I had to be very drunk or high to do it, I was at the lowest point of my life, being an alcoholic, drug addict whore. Jaebum rescued me when he said that we could open this place to help me escape, obviously our relationship didn’t work, we weren’t in love, we were just best friends, and him, as my best friend, tried to help me escape. “he casted a sideways glance towards Jaebum, who was sitting in the corner, hearing with a serious face “Of course, there had been times in which we couldn’t pay rent, or the paychecks, or just stuff in general, and I had to..Contact my old clients…”

“Then Mark and Jackson...?” Yugyeom wanted to ask, he still had goosebumps because of the older man's story. 

“Just Mark, I’m pretty sure Jackson was looking for his chance with me while we were making the contract, but…Mark is just…” he pursed his lips “My circle of clients evolved from just gang leaders, to true CEOs and stuff, some friends of him wanted to have fun and hired me…that’s how we met.” He shook his head “But, no, I am no part of that contract. I told all of them that this contract was to end that life for once and for all, I am tired of being treated like a piece of meat.

“You do realize you also treat us like a piece of meat?”BamBam asked, opening his mouth from the first time the older started talking.

“And therefore, I don’t force anyone to stay, we just intend to give people the financial support they need to get out of this kind of live, that’s our initial plan.” Jaebum intervened “We want you to be solvent enough to do something different from this life. All of the people that work here has been through hard situations, and, as people who also has suffered, we want them to forget the past, we want that DoubleB, Hit The Stage, J-Hope, and all of your friends can have something good, like a real college degree or a real job in some enterprise, not just a job in which you have to dance to older women. 

The room was silent for a moment, Yugyeom’s head somewhat hurt, and Jaebum looked ruefully at Jinyoung, who was still shaking.

“Well...Apologies accepted? Can I go back to work?”BamBam said after a few minutes in silence, he had discreetly cleaned the tears that had run down his cheeks, blurring his heavy eyeliner.

“It's the last time we're going to tolerate this” Jaebum sighed at last “We appreciate you, Bammie, we want the best for you, but we'll have to put your foot down if something else like this happens.”

“I get it. But...Can I still go out with Jackson?”

“It's not like you're not doing it anyway” Jinyoung grimaced. “You are free to do what you want, we are not anyone to tell you what you have to do, you are of legal age and you have all the skills to know how to make decisions for yourself; But be careful, BamBam, don’t be fooled by his money and the life of luxuries he can give you. I come from a life where they promised me thousands of things, and none of them was true.”

“Don’t worry, Hyung, I know what I'm doing” BamBam tried to smile at him and got up to leave the room.

“That’s what we all expect.” Yugyeom sighed softly. “By the way, Hyung, Did you break all relationship with Mark?”Jinyoung looked at him without understanding “I mean…that night you were…”

“Oh that was just because...because those promises I told you were never true” Jinyoung sighed, and once again, his eyes filled with tears.”    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! So I am finally back and I’m kind of in a hurry, anyways, here it is and I just complicated myself so much for this… I put things I didn’t wanted to put, but my head got all messed up and ended up putting what I always put in my stories (you get a special mention if you know what it is!)
> 
> Ok so in resume: BamBam is going to be in an abusive relationship (spoilers, duh), Yugyeom is orphan, Jaebum suffered from homophobia, Youngjae has depression, suicide ideas and self-harm issues; Jinyoung was a victim of rape and prostitution, also was an addict, Jackson has some troubles that I won’t say for the sake of the story and is a drug addict, and so is Mark.
> 
> Told you! Everyone has issues here!!!
> 
> I promise I won’t last another 6 months to update…maybe, you know…don’t even believe me XD
> 
> Glad yo hear from you! Thank you for waiting for all those who had subscribed before and welcome to all of you who read for the first time! Let me know what all of you think in the review section.
> 
> Love you!  


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